Today, Sunday, June 3rd 2007, my girlfriend broke up with me via text message. It went something like this:
Me: Hi
Her: Coop...I think we should break up..
Me: ouch...
Her: I'm sorry but it's the truth...
Me: ok
But I'm not sad about it, I'm actually kinda happy. She tough me the greatest lesson. Love is the best thing ever, even if you get hurt it's worth the time you shared caring for someone else. I'm not one who sulks after losing anything. I learn from it and improve.
Not saying that everyone can do that, I know it would be hard for most people but I dunno what my problem is, maybe I'm incapable of sorrow or maybe I deal with my sorrow in other ways.
I take pride in being able to handle things. And eventhough I'm not outgoing and I'm more of a -settle down with one girl and spend the rest of my life with her kinda guy- I've realized that all the good things in life come with the price of happiness, And once you find that special someone who loves you with unconditional love and you feel the same way about them. All that heartbreak and sorrow of your previous relationships will be belittled in comparison to the happiness you will have.
So here's the story.
I was going out to meet some friends that i met online and i decided to bring my friend Gabe along. He's not very good looking at all so i figured it be ok if i brought him along to be my wingman or whatever. After we walked 3 miles to meet these girls we got something to drink. I payed for everything since I'm a strong believer in chivalry.
We started talking in the store. Gabe asked if they thought I was attractive; one of them said no, but I didn't even know her anyway. The girl that I do know just shook her head a little as if ashamed to say no..That really got to me for some reason. Eventhough I'm not attracted to either one of the girls, the fact that they both said i wasn't attractive made me question myself.
We then walked a park where we spent about 30 minutes till we walked out to the boardwalk. There we sat for a while and talked for a long time. My friend Gabe was really hyper cuz he didn't take his medicine so he was saying some pretty far out stuff around the girls. (Gabe and I are 15 and the girls are 13) They're just as mature as any 15-year-olds I know so it wasn't a big deal if we swore. But he was talking about rape and buttsex and things that aren't appropriate around any girls. I was trying to keep him within some sort of boundaries but he was way out of it.
After we left the boardwalk we went to one of the girls apartment complexes and went swimming. There Gabe was constantly groping the girls and they didn't even seem to mind! It's hard to find girls that have dignity and guys that will show some remorse these days. I kind of felt like I didn't really belong there because I wasn't as wild and crazy as my friend Gabe was. Girls seem to like guys who are explosive and over the top and that's not me at all. I'm past that faze in my life where I was wild and crazy; though I never have liked parties, I still will go out and hang with my friends in a group. I've dated lots of girls, and when I say lots I mean a lot, so now i just want to settle down with one girl for the rest of my life, even though I'm 15 i feel like I'm 30.
After we left I told Gabe about wanting to settle down with a girl in a seriously relationship. He said that I think that I know what I want but because I'm only 15 so I have no idea of what I "actually" want. I've had a lot of things happen to me in my life which I don't care to talk about. So he can't possably relate to what I feel.
To tell you the truth when Gabe asked Mattie if she thought i was attractive and she said no...that really hurt my feelings Then Gabe talked to me about me not being old enough to settle down, I thought that was total bullshit and He was out of line thinking he's been through what I've been through. Maybe I'm just tired but right now I'm depressed and I can't stop thinking about ****...
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