to say the truth. my name is katie. all. when i eat. i feel like a faliure. i feel like im gettign fatter. i feel like im throwing my life away. i feel like i am weak and give into the temptation to eat. im told im skinny but i dont think i am. my family continues ot tell me that to be a model i must lose more weight. im 5'9 and weigh 157 pounds. i am overweight in my opinion. i am a weak person for eating. eating is a failure. nothing more to that. when i eat i am nothing. i am worthless. and i am hopeless
im a virgin
ive never drank or done drugs...and i dont really have an intrest to do any of those things ive never had a girlfriend
i almost had one ....but she dumped me because i wouldnt have sex with here
i dunno...i think ill just give up hope
im sick of looking for my dreamgirl to be around the corner
im lonley ..and dont really know what to do
im a very nice guy(prob 2 nice)
and yet girls always go for *** holes
i dont know what to do
*sigh*
I'm a thirteen year old girl and I feel like I have nothing to offer to the world and that God has totally turned against me. I have a boyfriend, who's fifteen and I can't get my head around him. He's a totally great guy and last year, after my relationships tore me apart, I decided to give up on everything. I have tried suicide a few times and I can never seem to finish it or anything because I think about my brother and sister, my best friend, and my boyfriend. I find music to be my only sanctuary away from everything. I play my guitar just to express myself. My mom married a guy named Dave and he hates me. He's incredibly mean to me when my mom isn't around and I hate him. My dad lives in California and he never talks to me. Last time I talked to him was December of last year when I went out to visit my family. I cut myself when I find I'm too upset to talk to people about it and it kills me everyday because of the guilt and worry I feel after doing it. my mom caught me once and she sent me to a counselor. This summer when I went out to visit my Grandparents in California, I met a boy who I thought i liked until he started hitting me and forcing me into sexual situations. One day when I went to break up with him, he raped me and I only told a few people. Now, a bunch of people know and I cannot let it get back to my mom. He killed himself yesterday and I HAD to vent this out. I'm grounded for a week for not cleaning my room. My step-dad hits me sometimes and my mom doesn't do anything... and she's a cop. My best friend was flirting with my boyfriend who SHE set me up with and she kind of acts like a slut to so many guys. It gets me so angry all the time. She denies it when she knows a guy likes her and she's just a whore. I really hate my life right now and if ANYONE has ANY advice... please... I'd like to hear it.
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