So this is lame. Not the most drastic or even interesting thing that can happen to a human being but about a year ago I experienced about the closest thing they reffer to as love at first sight. She was beautiful, she was the kind of girl who I would picture when I thought about the perfect girl. But because of my own idiotic self-pity and doubt, I never told her how I felt, even though I was around her all the time. The fact that, as well as me, all my friends were chasing after her in unspoken competition didn't help either. But eventually she screwed one of them. It killed me inside. I don't speak to any of them anymore, I have no trust in anybody close to me anymore, and I think I'm developing a mal-association with all women,which is unfair because I really love women.I just don't think I could ever be close to one, physically or otherwise, again. Every time I think about Her, Him, or anything/anyone having to do with that incident brings a mixture of anger, sadness, regret, loneliness, and revenge. But in the end I just feel like killing myself. I'm 20.
This is the last thing on here that I will write about you...hopefully. I finally told you all I had to say. I glad that I finally put it all out there. Though a small part of me wishes it ended differently, I know this was probably for the best. I know that there are more reasons not to. I guess all I have to say is I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry it happened. I'm not sorry I fell for you, and you were too afraid to fall back (or at least allow yourself to fall any further). I won't keep holding on to you anymore. Though I know that this part of me that loves you will probably never go away, I'm not going to let it prevent me from moving forward. I'll always have that one sweet memory. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe somewhere way off, we'll meet again and the circumstances and timing will be better, but I'm not going to count on that. I gave you your chance to have me, and you didn't want it, at least weren't willing to take it. Another chance may or may not come again. You lost the one guaranteed time I supposed. I just want you to know I don't regret any of it. I'm glad that I went out on a limb and said something. I know that if I hadn’t that would have been something I’d regret. So, I wish you the best. Good bye.
it's really nice to be called an anonymous coward by a random website.
really helps the self esteem.
before i start
may i say thank you for reading this.
and even more thanks if you comment it.
anyway...
for the past five years
life hasn't been so great.
but the past 7 months have been even worse.
2008 just doesn't seem to be my year.
my friends have pretty much abandoned me.
excuse me...
i mean "friends"
they still act like "friends"
sometimes.
of course the fact that they call me a satanist doesn't help.
expecilaly when they don't have a clue.
they're too wrapped up in their boyfriends
of course they're probably pregnant by now.
and they are some of the biggest hippocrits ever.
of course i don't know why i expect them to be any different.
everyone else around here is like that.
and they hate when you tell them the truth.
that's probably why they don't like me.
oh well.
i'd rather be a loner i suppose.
my family isn't any better.
dad's never home.
when he is, he's never sober.
mom's... well...
she's never sober either.
my grandma thinks i'm satan.
hmm...
that word seems to be floating around me a lot.
my step grandfather scares me.
he looks at me in that "i'm gonna molest you" kinda way.
so whenever he's here
i go somewhere else.
and he follows me.
i'm the black sheep in my family
because i would much rather live in a city.
oh well.
whether they want to admit it or not
i'm not living here when i get older.
never.
no one down here has half a brain.
sorry
but they don't.
they're more worried about making themselves look better than everyone else.
another good reason to be a loner.
i'm a girl
and i must say that i absolutely hate girls.
i can understand why guys call them confusing.
i don't see how you could get any kind of...
"joy"
out of putting your best friend down.
whatever.
i don't trust anyone anyway.
well...
there's one guy...
notice i said guy.
of course i probably shouldn't trust him.
but i do.
i hate people my age.
i can't fit in here.
so i won't try anymore.
i mean if people feel the need to talk about me
i might as well give them something to talk about.
that's true.
i guess that's about it...
yeah.
thanks for reading.
i feel beter now.
i'm off to go take pictures of a peach.
goodbye.
<3
I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been together "officially" for over a year and "unofficially" for about two years. I love him beyond all reason and he loves me the same way. We've really had few problems in our relationship except he used to rave and do a lot of drugs. I've been in quite a few relationships and I realize that my boyfriend and I fit together well. We even have been working at the same restaurant for about 6 months together. Our families get along just fine, even though they never really spend time together. He's asked me to marry him and I've accepted, ring and all that jazz. But if I bring it up to anyone, they keep on saying how it's not possible for us to be happily married for the rest of our lives.
Is it really that uncommon for two teenagers to stay together til death do they part? Are people extra judgemental or am I just imagining it?
Ok, no one knows me here so I guess it's safe. I have a problem. It is a selfish, childish, un-important matter, but yet it's still my problem. I'm sleeping with my ex-boyfriend,a great man, with whom I no longer want to be with. However, it does not make me want him any less. Even though I don't want him. I want him to want me.
You know how when you are no longer with someone, you need a reason to convince yourself, why you should no longer be with them. With him I don't have any reasons. He is a great man. He is cute, kind, spritiual, great in bed, giving, I could go on and on. But I know that we are not right for one another. I know this because I believe in him, more than he believes in me. I know this because he can't help me carry my dreams, and he's not willing to try. I know this because when it boils down to truth of the matter, we are not the same. And where is headed, is not where I want to be, and the journey I'm on, is not the same road he's traveling.
I know all these things, but to me, right now, when I'm alone in my apartment. They are not good enough reasons, for him to not want me. It's selfish I know, but, it's my truth. And I hate it.
What I'm learning though, is that people need people. No one wants to be alone, we all want to be wanted. Even if only for a moment. We want to feel like we matter, to someone. They need us just as much as we need them, if only for day. For if we can have that for one day, we have a reason to live and face tomorrow. Alone.
My truth is that, it would be so much eaiser to let him go, if he wasn't perfect. But, I have too. I have to let him go. Along with all the ideas of what we could be, because we won't be. And my life won't end because of that. I will have to dream and new dream, and believe in it. So that I can have a more solid reason to want to wake up, and face tomorrow. Alone.
I am a 21 year old male with the username lovecomeswith and I want to say ...
Ok. there is this girl named velevet, we ended up meeting through one of her ex boyfriends in the 8th grade, and little for me to know i was to fall in love with her. well afew years have passed since than and i still love her with all of my heart, i gave up a relationship that almost ended up in marriage because shes all i can think about. but i told her i love her a little to late. im in the army and when i told her i was in basic training, she didnt know what to say, soon after i found out why, she had a new boyfriend and she was strating to love him. well its been afew months since i told her how i feel and we have talked about it here and there but i want to be the person and she just cant realize that for some reason she knows that i will wait for her untill the day of my death and she knows that if i end up with someone i would leave them in a heartbeat for her, but i still dont know what i should do. i guess im just a little to late
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