How can God forgive somebody that has commited adultry how can he and there is no way to be a honest person since then there is no way it is something that keeps you from being honest and alway knowing that you did it and then have to worry about that person talking to other people. you know I hate myself for everything that I have ever done in my life and wish that I never existed because I have never amounted to nothing because of it. so much I hate my life. So much that I wish I was dead. I don't know why God created me because I am nothing, nothing at all except a peice of trash and don't amount to nothing I wish that I could do right and live right but I cant and never will be able to because of all of my sins. I wish that I could have Jesus in my heart and not sin against him but I know that I can't do that because of what we watch. and how things always are. And for that God I am sorry and sorry for the sins that i commit by calling the people that i do. I wish that i would have to keep it a secret but I have to. All he does is watch and wonder who is is and there isn't nobody no more.
I'm 18. I'm straight but i find myself very interested in females.
I've never been with a female but I wonder what it would been like.
I have a very sexual & freaky side that my boyfriend doesn't know about. The things I'm into his not ready for that. I love him so much but sexual he can't handle me. I think about exploring my sexual side but that would hurt him. Breaking up with him would hurt me. So What I'm I To Do. Please Help
I am 26 years old. I began having promiscuous sex since the age of 14. It all started out when I was raped by 3 men. I was ashamed and confused. Then I didn't care. I f*cked just about anyone. I hate those f*cking men who sexually assaulted me. I just want to kill them and/or make their lives miserable. I didn't tell anybody about being raped until just recently when I was drunk I told my boyfriend at the time. So many times I cry over losing my damned virginity unwillingly. I couldn't f*cking walk for days. I felt - and I do today I feel $hitty. In my life I screwed about 80-90 men and about 5 women. I feel so bad about that. My marriage is screwed up - we're getting a divorce and we hadn't even lived together for 3 years. Many people tell me I am an attractive, sexy, young lady. But I feel like a f*cking tramp with horrible grief issues. I feel like killing myself. So many times I just want to be dead. I don't see how a person can enjoy sex with another person who isn't. F*cking twisted sick.
Sex is a big subject if you let someone have you; you can only hope that they still want you after. I am still loving my first love and he is the one I did it with. He still calls me. We aren't together because he doesn't want to change the way he goes about with his life. By that I know that he can't help me or make me happy I want to see him do better not just work wherever and get paid whatever. I hurt so bad some days and it is because he calls me. I loved how he treated me but I didn't like the way he lived his life. I was so good though when we where together he wanted me to just move in and I couldn't. He wanted me to have is baby but I didn't not until i was able to settle down with a great job. Our kissing lead to lust and that lust is still there and still wanted by the both of us. It is hard to live life like this but it is the best for me since i am want to be a college graduate. When i see him all I want to do is grabb him kiss him take him with me to his or my house and just start off nice and slow. I don't think I would ever want to leave if we did have sex again
I'm currently 20 years old and I've had this fascination with my sister's body. She's a perfect 10. This has been going on for at least 8 years now. This all started when i hit puberty, and at that same time her body had shaped to her peak. Then somehow one day i caught myself staring at her ***, my god I've never seen something that arousing in my entire life. So how could i develop sexual feelings for my sister? Well i think the truth of the matter is that my relationship with her, family wise (of course)was not at all healthy...meaning we never really talked or had much in common with each other...so i think that the fact that my relationship with her was...RELATIONLESS. Therefore I didn't feel much emotion for someone i really DON'T KNOW. So I really didn't give a f**k, blood or no blood. I mentally thought maybe it was a phase in my life that would eventually end quickly. I've never been so wrong. Since this all started at puberty you could imagine what i pleasured myself to. I'd have uncontrollable urges when i seen her body. This day in time things are somewhat the same just not as intense as it was. I feel I fucked my life up. I have had many accounts of depression through these 8 or so years, and i think all relate back to my obsession with HER. It made me increasingly feel like **** over time, because i guess i felt like i was doing something so wrong...but even so, that turned me on. You know what i mean? Life's been extra hard keeping this on my back. And you should know that I truely am a nice person at heart...I'm just sexually unbalanced, and my unique fetishes show that...but that's a whole another telling in itself. My issue is that i feel ashamed from what i've done, and i just can't let it go because it has been going on just before my mind was able to think abstractly. Anyone have any helpful ideas so i can go on with my life?
For the last twenty years I've been addicted to Adult Bookstores. When I was younger I would always see the signs around town and wonder what they were. I knew about porn. I had seen Playboy, Hustler and various other magazines. I guess I liked them as much as the next guy. I enjoyed porn as much as the next guy. I mean I was young and I had a what I considered a VERY healthy sex life besides all the jerking. I guess U could call me a Ladies Man. I really loved women and still do. I could go on and on about my escapades. But something about those signs with all the XXXs on them kept me curious. One Day I decided to check one out. I went inside and there were racks of magazines, video tapes, sex toys, oils, lubricants, condoms and stuff. Nothing I would consider out of the ordinary. As I looked around I noticed a sign that said arcade So I went down the hallway following the sign. It got darker I could hear the sounds of porn music and there were guys standing around the walls. There were doors that opened into little stalls each with a chair and a screen. It took me a while but I finally got up my nerve and decided to go in. My heart was pounding as I shut the door behind me and locked it. I could hear the sound of the door of the stall next to me close and lock. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust but there was a slot to put quarters and the screen had a long list of movies that were playing.I reached into my pocket and put a quarter in the slot and a movie started playing. It was some kinda gay flick, two guys sucking each other. I was shocked I had never seen gay porn. I quickly hit the selecion button and changed the movie. As I cycled through the movies I was captivated by what looked like a woman but she had a penis. I had never seen anything like it. I was so aroused. I unzipped my fly and fished out my ... I had never felt so excited when I noticed a hole in the wall. there was a someone watching me. There I was deep into a hot crazy wierd jerk and someone was watching. Then I could hear their voice in a hoarse whisper saying "Let me suck it"...I didn't. It freaked me out so I left. But since then I have been back many times and I have let them suck it. A couple of times I've even tried to suck them. Now I can't stop. Not the sucking but the whole experience. U walk in pull it out and someone is trying to give you head. I jerk squirt zip and leave. Now I can't seem to stop no matter how hard I try. I don't feel like I'm gay, I'm not attracted to guys I only date and have sex with women but I just can't stop going to the adult bookstores 20 years later. I really wish I could stop. Now I feel disgusted and weak. I don't know what to do? AdDICKted
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