I have been deceiving everyone in my life for five months now. I've stopped going to college but tell my friends and family that I still attend. I lie about the grades I reviece, the work I'm assigned, everything. When I first started this deception, I had planned on killing myself shortly after, but I could not get my 'affairs in order' before the holidays began, and I thought it cruel to make my loved ones suffer during what should be a festive time. After a while, I got used to the idea of lying to everyone, and didn't really want to die anymore, but lately I've been depressed about the situation. I feel like I'm living on borrowed time, postponing the inevitable.
This isn't the first time I've messed up my life, and I don't think the people around me will be accepting/sympathetic to it anymore (nor do I feel they should be), and I'm afraid of what people with think of me. They'll think I'm psychotic, which I don't think I am.
I find myself lying reflexively, even when it isn't 'necessary'. I tell people my home is very neat and tidy, when it has not been cleaned in months. I never have guests. I've gotten very good at being consistent in my lies, and in a perverse way I'm proud of that.
I spend most of my time in denial, pretending everything is just fine, even when I'm alone. But at night, when I lay down to sleep, reality hits me and I feel depressed and hopeless. I've already planned my death in detail, but cannot resolve my feelings of guilt towards those who would be hurt by my actions. I am ashamed of the mess I've gotten myself into and feel this can only be ammended by my suicide.
I had wanted to get everything in order, so that even in death, parts of my deception might go unnoticed. I hoped that my memory would not be too tarnished, but I'm no closer to that goal than I was five months ago, and am losing patience with myself. I'm a mess and a failure, and it occurs to me that the people I love deserve to know the truth about me, even if it's only after I'm gone.
I don't really know how all this will end- my thoughts on the matter change from moment to moment- but I don't see a happy ending coming my way. I wonder if I'll be forgiven for what I've done and for those things I have yet to do. Will I be remembered as a troubled soul, or a monster? I realize I'm just rambling now, and I'm sorry. If diety exists, may it look after us all.
I dated the love of my life for a little over two months. I cheated on him with a guy he didnt like at all. I lied to his face and told him that I hadn't cheated on him. Soon after this he broke up with me. I was devastated. In the next couple weeks another guy started to like me. So now i have been dating this guy for over a month, and I don't like him. At All! My ex now likes one of my friends.And they kiss in front of me and are all over each other. Which is really hard. I don't want to be a witch and say they can't be togheter. But I want him back! sidenote (he is moving up north for 5 and a half months at the end of this week to go to badger challenge so he can graduate high school)I don't know if I should tell him or let him be. Should I break up with my boyfriend even though he tells me he loves me. I never say it back to him because I don't want to tell him I love him if I don't. If he were to ask me if I still had feelings for my ex I would tell him "Yes" but he hasn't asked me. Everyone else tells me to stay with my boyfriend because my ex is leaving. But I don't think I can lie to him much longer. Life=Confusing :(
i am screwing around with on of my good friends husband!!! we have been doing this for over a year!! i helped plan her bridal party, i was at the wedding, i bought them gifts for thier baby!!! this has been going on since before the wedding!!!
Sorry I used MObile Alibi's service to create lies and deceptions to get out of:
- bad dates
- long meetings
- awkward social situations
- paying the dinner check
- boring family gatherings
- going to Nascar with you
Ive been with my man for a long time now. Im not going to state either of our ages or names. But he cheated on me a couple of times and me on him. We broke up for about 6 months and got back together. He slept with over 12 girls. He told me i was to scared to tell him i slept with 1. so should i confess now six months after the fact? We aew engaged now but what will happen i love him and he loves me.. I finally gained his trust back should i loose it no one knows about that night except for me and the guy.
I am a 45 year old woman. I have been told I look good for my age and have dated men that are young enough to be my sons. The youngest was 19. They tell me that my body is like that of a 27 year old. I am flattered to say the least. Now what could be the problem? well this is going to sound really bad, and I know I will go to hell for it. My youngest daughter married a man that I am totally attracted to sexually. I get the feeling that he is to me as well. But I really can't tell. He was orphaned at a very young age and he calls me mom, however he has touched me in ways that are not motherly, for instance, and they might be accidents, He touched my left breast on the side when her reached around to hug me and another time I was laying on the floor and he was on the bed with my daughter and I felt his hand come down and tap my butt. I have also caught him staring at my breasts. There have been many other little things, The one that does give me reason to believe he is sexually attracted is because when he hugs me, he makes full body contact. I know that sounds bad, but I have fallen for him as well. Oh and one more thing, he takes me everywhere with him and my daughter. My problem is, if he makes a move, I probably will go for it. I know i'm going to hell for it, but I want him bad enough. I used to see this stuff on tv and thought it was wierd. Well now I can say I've experienced it. I feel guilty for my daughter. So what do I do?
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