I'm bi. I've felt attracted to both genders since I was very young but I realized what it meant when I was 14. I'm too afraid to come out & tell anyone. I know two people who know for sure, one I don't keep contact with anymore because he's my exboyfriend. I do believe a few of my friends have figured it out already but I'm not sure. My friends (a mixture of girls & guys) seem rather accepting of gays & bisexuals...I mean we're friends with like 4 or 5 bisexuals. But every now & then, we'll get into a discussion about what if one of us were to come out & they make comments like "I could still be good friends with you, but in all honesty, I don't think I'd do alot of the same old things we used to do. Like I wouldn't spend the night anymore." & to me that's terrible. I don't see why there should be special treatment towards them...from my point, I would NEVER hit on one of my girl friends, because they're my friends & I'm not attracted to any of them, & I know they're not like that. Like I'm pretty sure my boyfriend knows & he doesn't seem to mind. More than anything, I dread that my parents will find out...they're extremely conservative & old-fashioned, entirely against that sort of thing. On top of that, my mother tends to overdramatize *everything*...so I know she'd make it out to be a HUGE deal. But, there are some days I just want to scream it out at the top of my lungs because it just builds up. & other times it almost slips out in conversations because I'm so used to the feeling that I don't think even about it, but I always catch myself, so far at least.
I am a 22 year old female named H and I want to say ...
This is... a serious impediment to me.
I am terrified of people. At least, I'm terrified of people who have some form of power over me - my parents, teachers, potential bosses, etc. I'm fine when I'm around friends, sure... but whenever I need to ask something serious of anyone, I simply can't. It's different confessing things to faceless (to me) entities over the Internet - people I will never meet, who will probably never relly know who I am, even if I put my name on this post.
- I'm 19 and still haven't had any sort of sex talk with my mother beyond "make sure you keep track of your periods" because I've basically told her "Yeah, I kinda know it already" to avoid speaking to her about it.
- I can't get a job because I'm afraid of the application process. Mortally terrified. Calling up people I don't know to ask them favors? Eeeeeee... I shudder at the thought.
- I'll sooner struggle with something myself than ask for help. I nearly failed calculus last semester because I was afraid of getting a tutor. Finally, my mother and my learning aide set up a tutor for me, so all I had to do was go down at the right time and get taught math. That part wasn't so bad - it's just absorbing knowledge - but everything else? No.
-I can't even write my own e-mail, or make phone calls without a premade script. I don't even call my friends unless I really really really have to.
-Among other things.
I'm not sure whether it's a fear of rejection, or fear of humiliation, or delusions of grandeur, or some odd mishmash of those and something else I can't think of. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was never abused or anything beyond typical elementary-school schoolyard bullying, so I'm fairly certain that isn't it. I've never been publically humiliated due to my own interactions with others, so it wouldn't be a bad experience of that sort.
I don't know whether this is a cause or an effect of the aforementioned problem, but I also have difficulty truly understanding others in a logical, organized fashion. I can differentiate between people, can understand whom I like and dislike, can see what qualities I like in a person - I just can't seem to organize my thoughts and memories on any specific other person into anything coherent, and always end up focusing on myself because it's all I can do. I don't want to be that way, since I place others before me in terms of importance.
I don't even know what help I'll be able to receive, especially here... I'd talk to a psychiatrist, but that's human interaction with a semi-authority figure and thus, exactly what scares me out of my mind.
well, i am 20 years old. i think that i am very cute, but not sexy or breath takingly gorgeous. i am like so gone over this guy who is way out of my lead. we are just friends, and i've approached him before and he reminded me that he had a girl. he also hinted that he still wouldn't mind hooking up with me on a sexual tip. please note that we hang around a very close nit group of people. and i don't want to complicate things by having sex and them finding out. because they will. and i just don't want people up in our business like that. he and i are very close and sometimes i wonder if anyone suspects anything. what do i do?
I'm a 17 year old female. I'll be 18 in three short months. I have had a best friend all of my life. We grow up together. Im talkin 15 years. She was all of my hopes and it was just me and her. I always went to her for everything, and anything. Same for her. So about a year ago, she started working at this place she always wanted to work. Everything was cool. We just didnt see eachother that much. Then this girl moved here and started working there too. They started hanging out alot. and I was okay with it. I liked this new girl. But i got a job too. and I hardly see my best girl. So the more I'm not there. The more her and this girl hang out. Even when I was around, i wasnt really in their conversations. and little things started changing. Like how when ***** got her car, i had automatic "shot-gun" for 3 years! Then one day.. my seat was filled. So I sat them down and told them how, I felt like I was being replaced. The funny thing, was that the new girl totally understood. and felt really bad. and tryed to make things a 3 way friendship. and my best friend of 16 years... just acted like she didnt care. Its still like this. So about 3 months ago, We all got together and drank. The new girl and I got alot of stuff out that needed to come out. And thats cool. Shes nice. but secretly all I want is.. my best friend back.
We somehow manage to stay friends by a thread.
but im glad we did. because the three of us. made a not so smart choice. and it worked out because, It turns out I was being selfish and my best friend could only sit back and let me realize it. instead of just having one best friend...I have two.
or so I think.
They are getting a place together and leaving me alone.
Im not sure if i should be so insecure. but I couldnt go through it again. I couldnt imagine losing two.
If you know what I should do or say.
Please help.
Should I just find new peeps?
<3 thanks.
I am a 19 year old female named Mie and I want to say ...
Where to begin?
Well, I'm 16. Doesn't seem like much but, I've been dragged through the mud (long story).
I've never felt good about myself, ever. For awhile I even started to cut myself because I felt so alne and unloved. I stopped in October, about 6 mo ago, but the same feelings keep popping up.
I even went as far as going out with a guy, because I felt lonely. I'm not really pretty, so he was only my second boyfriend.
He ended up cheating on me, because I woldn't have sex with him, even though I did stuff with him on the first date.
I feel totally alone ad like I can't talk to anyone. My parents think I'm the perfect child, and I couldn't talk to my friends about it.
So, I'm here now.
My story is wierd.. well not too long ago i used to be really fat weighed in at 220 lbs, and in the course of a year i lost 70lbs..
i then wanted to be muscular and went to the gym and gained like40 lbs of muscle and realized that this is not for me..now im cutting down and have gotten to 170 lbs, but the whole time i never was really that defined like i had muscle but it didnt show, and its wierd cause i know what i have to do and it seems like im all talk, i can give a million people hope but have nothing left for me, and i dream of having this perfect body that i dont have and it makes me feel extremley insecure, like i dont go after certain things that i would normally do because of this its like if i liked this girl i would hesitate to ask her out because i feel insecure that my body is somehow not good enough, and i want to do so many things like act and model but i know i cant ever do that if i look the way i do, and its wierd i know im not fat but i keep thinking i am cause its all i see...
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