OK ladies, here be the dealio. I gotta admit it. I'm in love with two very different men. IN LOVE, not just infratuated. Like I have actual love feelings for two completely different men. And it is tearing me apart as I try to be with both.
I'm married to man who is a bit on the rough side. He's a Marlboro and Hennessey man. He works hard, is faithful and we have been together for 7 years. However on the flip side I'm in love with another man who would give me what my husband lacks. Compassion, romance, intimacy and affection. My husband is black (me too) and the other man is white. Oh why can't I just have both. And you know this ladies, that we all try to have both. And that's why we usually end up along eating ben and jerrys.
The 2nd man and I have both told each other how we feel, we have never acted on it. But we both want to so bad.
No matter how hard I try I can't get the 2nd man off my mind. I think about what would have happened if I had married him instead. My family would have hated me for marrying a white man, but it would have been worth it and they would have got over it. I hate the fact that I did what my family and race wanted me to do and I married my husband just because he was black. I mean there was more, but all things considered, I was always told and forced to pick the black man over the white man. Because white men are the bad guys. Except white men are the only people on this planet who actually treat me right, not the hard *** black brothers cocky and full of **** beating on us all or the crazy as black sistas I got who'd ***** me out and then ditch me to sneak around with my man. I seen to much of that in my young 25 years.
All I want is the strength from Jesus to make the right decision. Do I like this man just because he is white and different? He's everything every black man I've ever dated isn't. Kind, charming, he takes care of me and he's not even my husband. I am forever a queen to him in his mind. And I want to be a queen. I want to be psecial.
What's race go to do with it anymore anyway? Don't make the same mistake I did. Be with whoever you love, whatever the color and family be damned or you'll end up like, ok, average nothing special regretting my life and always wonderring what if.
My girlfriend thinks that she has a right to read over any e-mail messages that may be on my computer. (Her logic is that because we are dating there should be no secrets.)
However, I think that reading a person's e-mail is like going into their house and opening letters that are sitting on the table. Gee.... I have never seen my mother open letter for my dad and vice-versa.
I am married with two daughters age eight and six. I have a happy married life with John and my daughters. John is a middle level employee in the corporate world and I am a part time office employee in a hospital. I work out regulary thus at twenty eight, i look like I am just in my early twenties. I know that I am pretty as I had a lot of admirers when I was younger. I work two nights on weekend to augment our salary. My hubby makes good money but with my daugthers private school expenses, additional income is very helpful. Anyway, just wanted to confessed that have became friendly with Leroy, a male friend at work , he is the maintenance man who is always helping me do some chores anytime I requested. He is african american who is in his late forties. He is very ordinary looking and on the fat side with three grown up kids. Anyway, he told me his wife just recently divorce him because he does not make enough money. I lament his condition as he is very good to me. One night I just hugged him to say I am sorry for his condition. He hugged me in return but in a different way. I just pretended it was normal. Another night I called him out to change the bulb in my office room. After helping me out, he closed the door and he said that he is having a hard time coping with the divorce. This time when I hugged him to comfort., he kissed me hard and hugged me passionately. I told Leroy that I am a married girl but he wont listen and he became very aggressive, his hands was touching my behind under my skirt. He said that he did not have sex for three months and asked me help him. He held my hand and guided it to his manhood. I nearly fainted, then he pressed my head down. I gave him head for all I am worth, just so he wont have sex with me but he did not come and he just flip my me around pulled my panties and went down on me for good ten minutes. Then he mounted me from behind and humped me like forever .For some strange reason, I just open up my legs more. Then went on to have the best sex of my life. He is very good in sex. I came multiple times and acted like a slut. I do not know what became of me that night. We did have sex three times that night and had anal sex for the first time. He got my panty and bra and took some pics of me with him. He promised me that the pictures are for him alone He kissed me and thank me for getting him off. After that night I acted as if nothing happen.I feel very guilty. Told him not to do it again as I am married woman. I told him it just happen as I pitied him. I am again as always, a conservative dignified wife. I try to avoid him now. My hubby never knew what happen and when he and my daughters dropped by my office, Leroy even chats with them. Leroy is again acting very helpful. I do not know what to do. More]
I'm 16 almost 17 yrs old. My parents still treat me as if im still a baby. The other night me my friend and a guy friend went for a ride in his car not even a mile up the rode and back.. so i called my mom when i got back my friends house and she asked me what i had been doing and so so.. i told her that we rode up the rode with (lets call him c) C. he wants to sell that car....well the next morning i get home and my parents start yelling at me because i got in the car with him. my friend was sitting up front....now they say they cant trust me or anything. they wont let me date. some one out here know of anything i can do to help this matter???
Is it wrong that I'd rather be abused physically than yelled at?
My parents would hit me when I was a child. Mainly it was when my dad was drunk or after they'd have a fight, if I was near them or something wasn't done right, I'd take a beating. I didn't mind taking a beating and sitting quietly. I would start crying if it made my parents feel like they did a better job in repremanding me...but as I grow older and I have friendships and my parents have gotten over their anger problems/alcoholism, people yell at me rather than hit me. But when they yell at me, it seems everything inside of my breaks. I cry uncontrollably and I sometimes won't talk for days at a time.
I've talked to a few professionals around and I just don't feel any better after talking about it, but I don't think there's a medication for it.
I don't know if there's something wrong with me because of this.
Hey girl. I understand exactly what you are going through. I did not have my first boyfriend until I was eighteen. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one out there. There is nothing wrong with you. Just whenever you do get a boyfriend make sure he treats you good. Having a boyfriend is not what it is all cut out to be. I just got out of a two year relationship with my first boyfriend and he treated me like ****, but I put up with it because like you I thought there was something wrong with me and he would always twist everything up and make it seem like it was my fault but now I see that it wasn't. Just be careful and good luck to ya. You will find someone in time. Don't give up.
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