ha! i wanna vent about this jerk that ditches me, comes up with a sorry excuse, and after the incident is still talking to me saying he's sorry, and feels like ****, and now its like nothing ever happened, wtf?!?!
yea, i've been talkin to this guy via myspace, we decide to meet and his just bails out[after the first not even 5mins], for no apparent reason, thats never happened before and i've never had someone do that to me, people love me[ and im not tryin' to sound conceited or nothing either here] people tend to like me is all..
well his excuse was i look nothing like my pics, well my roommate of 4yrs. and everyone else i know will tell ya i look the same and alotta my friends are sometimes too honest if ya know what i mean, so that excuse makes no sense.... and im at this point where its like, why lie to people, liars eventually get caught so whats the fuckin point right? i have nothing to hide.......
but hes been talkin' to me ever since that day, and he's back to this "hey sexy whats up" ****
so wtf was his trip and wtf is going on here??
gaaah, im so lost......
I just moved to this town at the end of may and I still am not used to it. I still feel alone and like all hope is gone. I don't have any friends here, and I really don't even know anyone. The only human contact I have is with the people I work with. Sometimes I think I'd be better off if I wasn't here at all. Just not even living. I hate being alone with no one to share things with. No one to laugh with, be silly, go watch a movie. I feel like I'm locked in a small room with out any light. I am in the dark totally alone and the only noise I hear is the faint sound of life passing me by on the other side. What am I going to do with myself?
1-Diet pills/Surgeries: what the ****?! i seriously dont get all the **** people are doing to "lose weight" or "stay healthy", you go under the knife and chances are if you dont got hella money its gonna get fucked up,why put yourself through a surgery? i mean if you dont lose the weight you could die, you go under the knife, you could die
Pills- whos bright idea was it to say oh you pop this pill and you're gonna lose 10lbs in 10 days? wtf people?!?!? thats LAZY and laziness doesnt help you lose weight now does it? otherwise everybody would be skinny
you wanna lose weight, go ******* exercise and eat some things that are good for you and less junk food, thats how it really works!
2.-'Players'/Cheaters:what the **** is the deal with this? i mean why cheat on each other for? if you dont wanna be together or with the other one why not just break the **** up? and then if you do cheat , what is the big deal with not telling them? i think the person you cheated on has the right to know whats up
3.-"Emos": yes, i just had to go here, i want to know what it is that "nobody understands"? why not tell us so we can understand? huh? or is it cuz theres nothing to understand, you're just going through a dumb teenage faze? yes thats it a "faze" everybodys been through the "nobody understands" faze hell we even got the song "parents just dont understand" that should tell you something, if you seriously have an issue, than you should get some serious ******* help and GET OVER IT!!!!!
4.-Uniqueness: now this is where people get dumb.
EVERYONE IS UNIQUE, NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE EXACT SAME!!!
so why try to be "unique"? cuz all you're doing is being just like everybody else
5.-Freedom of Speech: i swear we have lost this.
now all of a sudden we cant say what we want when we want??
6.-Blame: we need to stop blaming music/tv/movies for **** thats going on, where the hell do you think the ideas for a movie or song come from huh?? thats right, **** thats already out there!
7.-Men:why are you never happy? we cook, clean, take care of the kids, and thats not good enough? or some of us bring home the money and have no need for yours but we're still bitches? and whats the deal with you liking skinny women no matter what? i mean they could be a total ***** or fugly and you'd take them over the slightly chunky chics that would treat you with the utmost respect? and where im going with this is that even the big fugly guys you think you need a skinny bimbo, i mean most of us women like meat on our men, we dont just got hafta the skinny cuz thats whats in
8.-(lastly)Women: why do we gotta keep our men on a leash? i mean thats what they ***** about right? well let them go **** around(not literally), if they're not good enough for you, whyd you choose them?
and why do we obsess with our weight? maybe we should all just get fat and if the men dont like it they can go **** each other lol
but why die to be thin? and whats with size zeros? sheesh that sickens me, and i just wanna add in here that i aint no size zero but i am under a size 20 and i am damn happy with myself and i know i look good--
But anyways i just wanted to "rant" a little and hear what you all have to say, cmon now, rant/vent with me!! cuz damn it feels good ;-)
Here it is 11:30 at night and this is the only relevant thing to me I have found on the Internet. I am a 57 year old woman who is just angry at life, please don't say it's just bitching, well actually it is! But why not? Every other ******* in the universe seems to get to say what they want-so why not me(Am I any less of an a-hole). I am just tired of just making it in life-I grew up in a dysfunctional family: that is the capital "D" you know the kind that's always on tv and everyone is shock about but we all know their there and love to watch. How life seems to run for me:
It is like you have a blind fold on and your in a race, everyone gets to see where they are going but you can't see, so the the race starts and by the time you figure out you can take these blindfolds off and you get them off, It has taken you forever just to get to the halfway mark and everyone else is going around a second time just for the fun of it. That's as close as I can come to explaining it and the frustration. And then there are those who don't even have to get into the race, they just skate right by.
People will say cheer up, look how far you have come and what you have done with your life. Baby, I've come up hard (as the song goes) and just would like to skate by for awhile.
Life...
Life is really a mother effing Beotch!
Latley all I have been thinking about is how much I want to die... I have said it to a couple of friends but no one ever takes me seriously. I am getting to the point that I dont have any reason to live! Ok this sounds all like talk but heres what is happening...
The bad life started when I was born... ok More like one year age my life took a total turn
Ever since I was a baby my grandma has been my babysitter and I went to her house literally everyday! We became soooo close! I dont know if anyone has a realtionship like that with their grandparents but if you do then you would really know what I am going through! Well anyway back to the story... and to the point... they are moving! Yes when you think about it, it is for the better health of my grandpa, so in a sence i am being selfish, and also it is only about 2 hours away... but for some reason it seems like i will never see them again! Hopeefully I will realize and get past this selfishness.
Ok so the next thing that made me want to kill me self is my best friend... tell me if this is cool... she asked me if i wanted to go to the movies with her... I said yes.. the the weekend came and i didnt hear from her and so i called and said so what are we going to do this weekend? she said oh well i cant really don anything... so we hung up and then the next week came and i found out that she went with these two other girls that i dont really like and that she has ditched me for before!!! you can probally see why i was so pissed... i am very blunt and outfront... so i told her... it has been over a month now and we havent even talked... I dont feel like i should be the one to appoligize... now its like every chance she gets she uses to make me jealous!!! Which she is not making me jealous she is just pissing me off!!!!! UHHH and you dont kno how hard it is for me not to just turn around and punch her in her BIG FAT ULGY FACE!!!!!
ok... breath....
Well then this other thing happened with this other girl who i have known forever and we have become really close... well she has been going on this emo thing and ramdomly the other day in English she says that she is going to be bi... uhhh ok... so in two seconds you decide to just "become" bi... ok
So me being the blunt person that i am says... there are better ways to get attention... well that started a HUGE fight!!! Well to me if you just ramdomly say that you are bi then , and knowing her, she was joking... well she wasent... she knows that if that is what she really wants to do then i support her 100% and that would never change... well i also am kind of a cry baby so in like every class i cried... i couldnt help it! I felt like ****... and in some classes if i would of had a knife then i seriously would of killed myself! And i wasent crying over my ex-best friend I was crying over my bi friend... she was always such a good friend.. ok so heres what happened... I tried to talk to her after 6th period and she pushed me into the wall... so that night i tried to call her and she wouldnt answer... well while living that next school day in hell i couldnt get up the nerve to talk to her... well that night she must have checked her caller id because she called me... we talked it out a little bit.. then i just walked to her house... she didnt even say hi.. again, i was about to cry but instead i just left... just when i was about home i seen her riding up behind me on her little brothers bike... I was soooo happy... that she was making an effort to be friend again too... but things just still arnt the same... ok welll i think that about it about it!! thanks for reading my problems! lol
So, I moved across the country because it was too depressing being around people who don't care about school and just get drunk all the time. For the first month here, I was having a ball, joining teams and clubs and things. Just recently, I met a group of girls who I have an awesome time with, but I'm getting on the wrong track again. We only drink on weekends, but this past weekend I experimented with drugs... I tried E for the first time, and blew coke all night on a different night... I'm staring to screw up my sleeping habits and I'm slipping in school. I really like the people I've been hanging out with, and I think drugs every once in a while are a good time. I know I should surround myself with more sober people, but I really don't even know where to start. I also don't want friends who NEVER want to party. It's hard being the new girl in town, and now I'm just starting to get comfortable. This sucks. School is almost over though, maybe next year will be different... I don't know. I just wish I could have it all...
| 
| 
