Alright, I'm 16, im not a problem child by any means, i dont do drugs, or drink, the only thing i do is smoke cigarettes(and i dont hide it), im very trustworthy, and very independent, keep all that in mind while you read. My parents have split and I haven't had anything to do with my dad my whole life. There has always been a father figure in my life though, wheather it be my grandpa or my uncle, someones always been there for me, just so ya know. Well my mom decided to get married to a real jerk, the weddings this saturday actually. I cant stand the guy after he hit me a couple of years ago over what ended up being a "big misunderstanding"-not really. I dont think that I am wrong for feeling the way I do about him. But since that has happened things got really bad, at first but then "better"(so it seems to everyone else). Like i said the guys a jerk but my mom is in "love" with this guy, shes very gullible just for the record, and went to talk to the pastor that is to wed them this weekend. he told them some stuff about how you should put your spouse before your children because your children will *grow up and move out and etc.* (keep whats between the *'s in mind also), which i agree with to a certain extent. Let me tell you about my mom, this is her 10th wedding. I am 90% sure that this will end up like the other 9. I think that this kind of changes what the pastor said, but doesnt change the way that that comment affected her. you can tell that she is thinking hard about that. Well heres where i need advice. I really want to move out in October, when I'll be 17 and legeally able to move out without her being able to do anything about it. I have a place to go to and everything. but i dont want to tell her that i am leaving because of him. See, i have played this whole thing off and now it seems that i havent got a problem with my step-dad-to be, believe me- it worked out better that way. The only problem other than just telling her that I am moving out is my way of transportation, I know that she knows the only thing she can take from me is my ride, the only thing she has bought me since i was about 13. But i would not be able to do anything without my car, such as work to help pay my part of the bills at the place i am wanting to move to. I guess what i'm asking is for a way to talk to my mom and get her to agree to let me move out and also to take my car. Keep in mind that she tells me all of the time that she is proud of me for working so hard all the time and keeping my grades in school up. Oh, by the way, the place i have lined up to live is with a couple of my friends who are moving in together, they are 20 and 18, but they are very responsible, dont drink, do drugs, or smoke cigarettes. they attend church regularly and all that too. It would be fairly easy for the three of us to pay all the bills because all 3 of us have fairly high incomes, especially to be so young. i make $7.50 an hour as a shift manager at a local resturant, one works at a water treatment plant making $12 an hour and the other is about to get a job with me and shell start out at $6 an hour. We have all three known eachother for a long while, have never had any kind of serious argument or anything like that. But please tell me the best way to go about talking to my mom. (I'm sorry that was so unorganized, I just typed what i was thinking)
I grew up with a grandpa who had an issue with keeping his hands to himself. He molested me from when I was to young to remember (kindergarten at least) till I was around 9 or 10, whatever year the first Batman came out in theaters. Anyhow, I never told anyone in my family because I was afraid it would draw a lot of unwanted attention on me. I was a super shy kid, and even though I'm less shy now, I don't like negative attention. I really really hate people feeling sorry for me, about anything. Just for reference I am 26 now.
After he said he wouldn't touch me again (he tried to give me a "innocent" hug once and I wouldn't go near him, that was the end of that) he apparently moved in on my sister. My sister didn't keep quite like I did. She said something about it while she was at school and word got around. The school did this big investigation and notified my parents about it. At the time we where up north and my grandparents down south. My parents asked me if I knew anything about it but I was like, "no." I was still scared of the attention I thought it would bring me. Whatever athorities investigated the situation decided that there wasn't enough evidence or something and everything quited down. My grandpa never touched either of us again, and I have no ideal if he tried anyone else. He didn't have anymore female grandkids in any case.
Unfortuantly my father's sister and only sibling was trying to adopt a couple of kids at the time. The adoption agency got wind of it and threatened to not allow the adoption to go through. She was still allowed her adopted children at the end, but she blaimed my dad for the whole thing. She still doesn't talk to him to this day, even though its been probably 15 years or more. It irks me to no end, probably more so than what happened to me. For the most part it hasn't effected me as much as many victims. Her unwilling to talk to my dad just makes the whole unspoken episode lingure in the air, though with the rest of my family its a unspoken thing involving my sister, not me. My parents approached her stories in the right way, making sure my grandfather wasn't doing anything to her. In the long run my dad got the sour end of the deal, he lost communcation with his only sibling. I love my brother and sister to death and having them do that to me would defiantly hurt.
So, my delima... I still have never told anyone in my family. My grandfater has one foot in the grave, so I don't really feel like getting him in trouble is worth it, he'll get his when he dies, if there is a afterlife. However I would really like to say something to my Aunt, let her know that her blaim is sorely misplaced. If I tell her though it will probably get around, and me telling my parents the things that where going on behind their backs so many years ago would be to much. My dad has a straigned enough relationship with his parents. I know that it would kill him to know what went on. My dad is mental enough as it is. Paranoia runs in my family. I just wish my aunt wasn't such a ***** about something that happened os many years ago. I don't talk to her unless she happens to call me (increadably rare) but I hate to see her hurt my dad. I know it hurts him even though he hardly talks about it.
So, what would you do? I would defiantly like to hear insight from people who might be in a simular sitation... maybe you know how I feel.
Ok well let me start at the beginning. I have been married for the past 7 1/2 years. I have 2 beautiful children. My husband and I have been having problems with our marriage since about the 2nd year. Well about 4 yrs ago we had decided to seperate and see how that went. In that time I met a guy and yes...I found myself pregnant by him. It obviously wasn't my husbands because we weren't living together much less having sex. Well I, of course told my husband and by all rights he was pissed. The guy that got me pregnant, I'll call him John Doe, was happy about it but hated the fact that I was married. We had a disaggreement and he went to go visit his family in a town about 5 hours away from my town. Unfortunately for him, he was arrested on an outstanding warrant for previous hot checks while he was gone. He did some time in jail and in the meantime my husband and I decided to try to work things out. He helped me while I was pregnant and was even there for the birth of my daughter. She is now almost 3 years old and he loves that little girl to death. He is completely wrapped around her finger. She calls him daddy because he has been there for her more than 'John' ever has. When 'John' got out of jail he came to see her and spent time with her. He understood that while he was gone my husband was her father and was always there for her. She was 8 months old by the time he finally got out of jail. John is now there for her whenever it's convenient for him. And I assure you it's not very much. She calls him by his first name and my husband by daddy. My problem is that my husband and I are having problems again (this time it's him cheating) and we're getting divorced. I know that as far as a father goes he is the perfect one for her and I had even gone as far as trying to get 'John' to give up his rights so that my husband could adopt her. He, being an ***, refused my offer flat out. He said he loves her and will not give her up because she is his daughter. Despite the fact that he'll maybe see her once a month. I love my daughter so much but how am I going to tell her that my husband is not her real dad? She loves him so much, but as far as he and I are concerned, there's no hope of us working it out. Can someone please give me advice? Our divorce will be coming up very soon and I don't want her to lose the one true 'daddy' she has ever had.
I wanna be a marine but almost everyone in my family is doing everything that they can to se that not happen. What could I do to tell them that their imposing their wants on me?
I have been married for 5 years. When I first dated my then boyfreind he allowed his ex-girlfriend to physically assault me in his presence.Like a jerk, I still married him, after that she continued to disrespect me, on the phone, though. The only reason she stopped the physical attempts to confront me was because I had pressed charges. She has a child by my husband so the disrecpect over the phone never stopped. My husband is aware of it and says because it will interfere in his relationship with his child there is not much he can do.This is where is gets good, my huband and his ex also have mutual friends, who no doubt don't all like me. This one mutual friend arnold, does things think send group email and relays messages between my husband and his ex. after my complaining and a major argument my husband finally asked him to stop. this was four months ago, the other day he had the nerve to send my husband pictures of the ex.i was livid, so i called arnold and let him have it. he then sent me an email through my husband email address and threatened me, and also made it very clear that he does not like me. i showed it to my husband and he said i'll handle it when i get a chance to see him. we are currently out of the state we live in. i said why cant you call him or send him an email and address this in my presence, after all he disrespected me in your presence. my husband says i don't want to handle it like this. it will be more effective face to face but without my being there. i know my husband he isn't going to say much of anything.because of my husbands past cowardice our intimacy isn't the best anyway, now i feel like i can not imagine having sex with him ever again, he repulses me, and i am seriously thinking about a divorce. I left him once before for the same type of things, and he begged me to come back. this time this will be it. any imput would be helpful.
i have a problem and i decided to post it here because i wanted honest unbiased opinion my step father has been in my families life sence i was 5 years old i AM now 27 hes been violent and aBusive for as far back as i can remember hes an alcaholic im sure you all know the type anyhow couple months back my mother told me that when he came over for a hair cut once he casualy asked my moom if i was still married and still in the saME part of my state she said yes to him and she told me at this he smiled .... he then according to her said you know " i wonder if shes as hot as you wher ( meaning in bed ) my mother said she ignored this comment from him ... the thing is ever sence i heard this i have been sick to my stomach im now scared of him i cant be in the same room with him ,,, and my fear of him is just extreem the very few who know about this say im over reacting because im never alone with him but it dont make a difference to me i dont know what if anything i can do about this ,,, i dont think i will ever be able to be in a room with him even with others ever ever again ,,,, can someone tell me are they right am i over reacting or do i have a reason to feel this way and if so what can i do about it ?
| 
| 
