my boyfriend e-mailed a friend on my space and talk about having sex with this woman. I read this. I now don't trust him. He says he is sorry and has told this woman he is involved. We have been dating for four months. I just don't feel the same type of feelings I had for him a few weeks ago since this whole my space thingy. I feel betrayed. He says he loves me and I can't say it back. I told him I would give him one more chance but if it happened again we would be through.
I have been married for five years now. My husband cheated on me last November with a co-worker and she felt the need to inform me...on my birthday! I have been devestated ever since. We have been in marriage counseling since then and it seems to be working, I really love my husband with all my heart and I am really bitter. Lately I have had the urge to cheat on him just to settle the score. In reality I can't see myself acutally going through with it, but is it wrong to even think about it? I need some advice. I am considering telling our counselor, but I don't want to in front of my husband. I am afraid that it might give him the "ammo" he needs to do it again...HELP!
Okay, i'm going to give some background info first. I have been in a relationship with my husband for the last 7 1/2 years and we have been married just over a year. Up until this incident I had never cheated on anyone. Moving on...
I went to a bar to watch a band i like play sometime last fall and this guy came up and started talking to me. He was a hottie but I am married so I told him that and then did not give him my number. Um, but I took his and I said, "I'll take it, but I won't call you." Then later I looked at his card and said to myself, "You can never call this guy. He is trouble." Anyway, instead of throwing the card out I stuffed it in my wallet and forgot about it until my friend, who owns a bar, one day in spring said she was looking for some new bands to play. I told her I met some guy in a band and she asked if I could call and find out where they were playing so we could go check them out. I called. Anyway, then we called eachother once in awhile over the next couple of weeks - just talking about nothing - and my friend and I went and saw them play at a bar. We didn't really think the band was so great but whatever. They took a break and he came and talked to me and I told him we were leaving and he asked if i wanted to go get food when they were done playing and I was like, maybe..
We left and went somewhere else and on my way home I realized I was very awake so I called this guy and he said - yeah i still want to go. Come back here. So i went there and waited until he was done and then he said he wanted to stop and jump in a lake or something somewhere because he was all sweaty and hot from playing - so we went to this lake and I decided to go swimming too. So, we took off all our clothes and went in the water. I am kind of an exhibitionist and I like people to check out my body because i am really proud of it. Anyway, It was really cold so we got out pretty quickly. Then we started messing around - but I didn't sleep with him (but I don't think that makes it any better)We almost did but i freaked out and apologized and said I made a mistake and I was going home and I did.
After that, he was all I could think about and we talked on the phone a lot.
I made plans to meet him at a hotel one day in my city and we had very awkward yet very hot stranger sex (know what i'm talking about?) Then about two weeks later I met him again at a hotel in his city and we had sex - very good sex - like I have never felt this way before in my life...anyways, pretty soon we are talking everyday - like 3 + times a day and I got my cell phone bill in the mail (my husband and I are on the same account) and we were WAY over our minutes. So I shredded the bill and my husband was like, we need to watch our minutes. Anyway, he looked online at our bill one day and saw this one number repeatedly and did some digging and found out who it was and confronted me when I got home from work. Then after all that he said he had cheated on me too shortly before we were married but he was sorry and felt so bad about it he was convinced he was going to hell. Here's the kicker: he got an STD from this chippy and convinced me it was from me because I had slept with more people then him before we were together. It's HPV - I never had any symptoms of it or anything but he did. Anyways, that made me feel like crap for a very long time - I even went to the clinic and was all crying there thinking I spread something to the love of my life and all. Ugh.
Well, he felt bad about what he did, but I feel differently. I feel very horrible about hurting my husband, but I don't feel bad that I slept with this guy. i don't know if it's because something was missing from our marriage or because I've never had sex that great in my life or what but now we are both outed and that should make us even if I would just stop seeing this person, but I don't feel like I can or even want to. I don't love this person and my husband and I are getting divorced. Everything is a mess and I'm thinking i'm very selfish and should just STOP SEEING this guy, but he is like some crazy addiction where I have to see him, I think about him constantly, and I even got another cell phone to call him on.
Throughout all this my husband and I have not really fought and he says that we can still be together and make it work and sometimes i think we can but other times i think there is no way we could ever trust eachother again and every time we had an argument or something he would bring it up - i know he would because he holds things he dislikes about people against them forever.
So, anyway, i don't know. I just needed to get that out. Not really looking for advice I guess? It's just that I haven't been able to tell anyone the whole story - not even my best friend - because I am afraid people will judge me and think I am a bad person. I know it is all wrong what I am doing, but I don't need anyone to tell me that.
Thanks y'all for reading and commenting if you choose to.
I just found out someone's secret...without her wanting me to or her knowledge of it. I feel bad about the way I found out. I shouldn't have done what I did. I just feel horrible. I shouldn't have been sticking my nose where it didn't belong. I just wanted to know more. So,I snooped. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't help it. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did. I'm not trying to justify my actions. I know I was wrong. I just didn't think that this would be what I found out. I wasn't expecting that. I looked into her private business without her wanting me to. I just feel like such a horrible person. I shouldn't have done it. I feel so guilty about it. I betrayed her tust, privacy even if she never finds out, I betrayed her, and that's what gets me. I can't believe I did what I did. I just don't know what to do now. I can't tell said person because she is one of those people who would say I was only telling her to relieve my own guilt and in turn hurting her. It would be for no one's benefit but my own. She would say that it's better of not telling her that my living with the guilt is punishment enough. But the problem with that is I'm a coward and I can't take the guilt. I just need to put this out there. I need to get it off my chest. I need to just admit that I did it. I can't keep it bottled in. I'm just not strong enough. For that reason, I'm posting an anonymous confession. I'm weak...I'm a coward...I just can't deal with not saying anything.
Ok so i was talking to this guy who had a gf and even though i knew he hadone i kept talking to him telling him i love him and that i wanted to be with him welll come to find out this supposley gf is his future wife......she found out about us and called me to ask about some text messages in his phone.Now that she knows i do not feel bad about it. i am g;ad she knows.how bad is that
I have a bestfriend that i have had for about 7 to 8 years now and I love her to death. She knows all my secrets and I know all of hers. We date bestfriends and we do everything together. We take up for eachother and her family is my family and my family is hers. Well her latest boyfriend was introduced to her through me. He was I cool person and i thought that they should talk. Well they talked and have been going together for about 1 year now and me and him got cooler and cooler...our relationship evolved into that of friends to best friends. So they were my best friends. Well he confessed to me that he liked me around April and for two days str8 we argued about how this wasnt funny and that it couldnt happen and wouldnt work becus of my Best friend. But he said alot of things about how he was always there for me and **** and I began to think about our wonderful friendship and his dedication to me and decided to talk to him. They were broken up at the time. Later they got back together but we still continued to talk. We would all be around each other and not once did i confess to her what i was doing and not once did i end this. I tried so many times but he convinced me that it wouldnt be right and that he loved me. I believe that it was love but just a different kind. More like the friendship kind. I was so wrong because the first time I said no i should've stuck with it. The whole relationship that me and him shared did not go past talking but still it was wrong. I love my best friend but what was I supposed to do? Tell the man who is there for me when I needed a shoulder to lean on and when I had no one to turn to...who would take up for me at the drop of a dime...who treated me with complete respect and did anything that i needed him to do...no jus like that? Out of all of the boyfriends that I had none of them ever treated me the way he did...how could i turn this chance down. My mind told me that all this was wrong but this happened to be one of the times when your heart and mind were at tuggawar and in this case I let my heart win. In most cases I let my heart win and my heart always seems to let me down. Maybe I listened to the lesser of the two which caused me to make the wrond decision. Me and him no longer talk at all not even as friends and me and her dont either. Im quite sure she sensed that something was wrong but there's no assurance. I never confessed and told her and i dont think that i ever could. Between bestfriends u never talk to an exboyfriend and definetly not the one that they're currently dating. Someone please give me some advice and tell me what you think!!!
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