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self reflection of cheating

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Battling An Emotional War Within
i recently felt like the world was caving in on me when all of a sudden i've realized what was really happening to me: i was closing myself off to the world. i've felt so afraid to be myself while in this state of mind because i was so depressed. i had hidden my personal problems deep in my conscience but unconsciously i was emotionally acting out what i was hiding. i would cry out of no where and wonder why? i would get upset or take jokes personally when the joke wasn't directed towards me. i felt so self-conscience of my surroundings where it was literally driving me crazy. i had become so paranoid and defensive when i didn't need to be. i felt like everyone was against me or out to get me. i wasn't doing any drugs either. even at social gatherings i would have a drink and i would start crying from all the emotions i was feeling so i stopped drinking. i gone through this shocking experience two years ago and the memories were still haunting me. i didn't tell people who weren't close to me. so those people still think i'm nuts but i don't care. what matters is that the people who've known me my whole life know what had happened to me. they have done their best to understand and be there for me while i was suffering from this. i'm so thankful and appreciate all they have done for me. i just feel bad that they had to endure some of my pain. i didn't mean to be such a ***** while i was getting over the past. Since i have released all of my pain, i have had some closure to that chapter in my life. i just want to say i feel alive again. category: self-reflection - other
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Anonymous Coward says ...
I am an Anonymous Coward and I want to say ... You go! I went through the same exact situation when I was in High School...just remember that there are always people out there who love and care about you...all you have to do is open your arms to them. ID:1E12FE
Anonymous Coward says ...
I am an Anonymous Coward and I want to say ... Well I'll tell you what. you seem in control of your life. but if you break down again, come talk to me. I'm not a psyciatrist (did I even spell that right?) or anything, but I can help. ID:4AEF86
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