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What's wrong with me?

Married too young...?
I joined the military at 17 where I met and married my husband at 19. I'm currently 21. The absolute, indescribable love I had for him was overwhelming. NOW, I still love him more than anything and the thought of being without him is unbearable. But he's not the man I married. He used to be so sweet and confident, smart and adorably ditzy at the same time. Your good, old-fashioned country boy that would do anything for his girl. He's still amazing, but I can't help but think that the war changed him for the worse. He is by far the hardest working soldier in his unit; dependable. And I love him for it. But he ALWAYS brings his work home with him and as much as I try to listen because I know how rough it is, I just can't take it sometimes. Especially since he's too nice to stand up for himself. Not to mention he's overly emotional. He feels that if we don't kiss 20 times before he leaves the room or steps out of the car to pump gas, we don't love each other. I have never been, and never will be, that emotional, lovey-dovey girl. At one point, it was cute. I loved that he loved me so much. But at this point I'm like "You win! You love me more! Now let me play some Guitar Hero, dammit!"

I get so much flak from the girls because apparently having a guy who's so sentimental and emotional is every girls dream. But this isn't like that. I feel confined with him. I feel bad because I'm really short with him. I'm absolutely a ***** when he doesn't deserve it. I feel bad, but I can only handle so much. I've been thinking for quite a while now that maybe we just got married too young. That I needed to date a little more before I settled down with him. To be completely honest, he's not the kind of guy I ever wanted to settle down with. I'm just tired of being the guy in the relationship. I want HIM to be the cool, confident, collected, mysterious one for once. I feel like I still put up a challenge for him. I try to keep things interesting. But he just watches TV and takes me out to the occasional movie. What do I have to do to get him to be a little more creative??? We're SO young but we might as well be senior citizens. Hell, even they do more exciting things.

I know I sound heartless for acting this way when he was in Iraq, etc... But he didn't SEE anything. He worked in the lab in a clinic. It was more the stress of being so far from home. Regardless, I'll be attending college this fall and he'll be attending the same college through the Green to Gold program. I'm hoping, praying, WISHING that being away from the military a couple years and living as a civilian will help him lighten up and let loose. Plus we'll be living in my home town so being in a familiar environment might help us both reconnect.

God, I hope this works.

Comments
Anonymous Coward says ...
I am an Anonymous Coward and I want to say ...

Like most of the rest of the world, up here in Canada everybody felt that Bush had no business invading Iraq. No matter how YOU feel about it, your bf did go and now you are left to pick up the pieces of your pre-war relationship.

At college you guys are going to be in a brand new situation and meet lots of brand new people. These new friends will liven up your life and hopefully set you off in the right direction.


Good luck :-)

PS. 17 was kinda young to tie the not

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War is still war, he is a soldier everyday he puts on his uniform. It is very common for young men his age to get post traumatic syndrome in fact it effects thousands of active duty soldiers from being in a hostile country where anything can happen. My honset opinion if you feel like you have done everything you can to make things work and made no progress then let him know it's over. But if you have hope then find ways to make it work find help for him if thats what it takes.

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