hi,i was in a similar situation to you and also snoop lol
i don't think we should but when someone has treated you the way we've been treated it makes us do things like that! i think its healthy to be curious or even to just know something,anything and them not know its a kind of power thing because they had power over us,and the need to get that back is natural.i personally don't see a problem with what you're doing,infact if i was you i'd send all his emails to all the different women he's screwing over,sometimes karma needs a helping hand...but even if you don't believe me one day it will catch up with him,the best revenge (karma) is to be happy without him,after a time i don't think you'll feel the need to snoop,you're over him romantically but emotional and physical abuse wounds take time to heal,i hope things are better for you now :)

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My guess is that you've not come to terms with the abuse. That doesn't mean you want him back or anything, but maybe you need to understand why you put up with it. Or maybe that's really the kind of relationship you feel comfortable with and you really do want some more.

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Maybe its closure? Or maybe its your way of getting back at him but not hurting anything? Or maybe your just being nosey?

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WELL IM KINDA IN THE SAME BOAT. MY BEATER/CHEATER COMES AROUND ONCE IN A WHILE. I TOO AM INTERESTED IN WHAT HIS LIFE IS LIKE. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DONT. IM LOOKIN FOR CLOSURE ALSO. MEN LIKE THAT WONT DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOU FIND IT. MY OPINION IS WHAT I RECENTLY DISCOVERED. I THINK YOU ARE POSSIBLY LOOKING TO SEE IF HE HAS CHANGED, AND THAT HE WANTS TO MAKE IT RIGHT WITH YOU. CHANCES ARE HE AINT GONE CHANGE. HE WILL IF HE TRULY WANTS TO. LET HIM GO!! IF HE AINT GONE GIVE YOU CLOSURE, THEN DONT PAY HIM NO MIND. ONLY THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.

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I can understand what you are going through..I am 19 I made the stupid mistake of getting married to a much older man when I was 18.I had just had a baby and he told me everyone would think bad of me if we were not married and I had a baby even though it was not his. So I agreed to marry him. Well the first month was ok I guess but then he began abusing me and my baby.Not physically really he'd throw things around where it could hit my baby and mself but he was mainly meantally abusive.So I finally got out of that relationship for my babys sake...now he trys playing Mr. Nice Guy....I sometime wanna know what his life is like now..But I am just thankful he's not my problem anymore!!! So I guess my advice would be...you dont need a cheater.You need someone that will treat you like a human.Honey just let it go and you'll find someone who truly cares for you and will take care of you.You just gotta get your EX outta your head

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I dealt with an abusive/etc bf before! One that I will never forget in many ways. He moved away, thank goodness, but he still comes back to the state I live in from time to time as we have some of the same friends. I still talk to him a lil through email SO I KNOW WHERE HE IS AND WHERE I WILL NOT BE!!!! I never did get true justice upon what he did, so that is another reason. Closure is hard to come by when justice has not prevailed. But also in some other senses, I like to know if he's changed yet. That's the most important thing to me is whether or not he's stopped doing what he did. That would be great so no one else has to go through it from him. I even still have a cassette tape recording from my answering machine of him threatening my life back then. That was at least 5 yrs ago. I will never throw that tape away. I still have feelings that I want justice done. Maybe that's the issue you have... JUSTICE.

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Hey, I want to thank you all for the input! It's actually really shed some new light on the situation. I totally agree that part of what I'm looking for is to see if he actually HAS changed, and he hasn't. The need to want to check his e-mails is dimishing...Sometimes when I'm bored, I'll do it for that sake...I think it's just a matter of knowing his passwords. And thanks so much for not being some ******* who's gonna call me names. You all were very helpful. MUAHS! xoxox

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