Ok i don't mean to be rude but this is how child molestation starts. you really need to tell someone. now is the time to get it out there and stop what ur doing to your brother. when you have childern of your own u don't want to put them through the same thing you went through. you should talk to someone you can depend on and trust. im not trying to sound like weird or like im mimiking other people but that is very important. sooner or later you'll feel the guilt thing. and sooner or later your bro will be doing the same thing to someone younger than him you don't want that do ya? if your brother does it then you'll think of it as your fault. when someone says don't tell about this that normally means it shoulden't be happening. get help now!!

ID:AD0225

When I read this my heart wanted to jump out of my chest, I wanted to rage and scream and cry. I am feel for you having to go through that and not have been protected from your family(cousin). If I could I would teach him a lesson and give him every ounce of shame, anger and guilt I could muster. How dare he!!!!
Now on the other hand how in the **** DI YOU FEEL being gaged, raped, backstabbed, turned on, decieved when your cousin did this. How did you feel when your cousin took your beautiful innocent childhood away from you. Talk to someone...TALK TO the other PIECE of you....apologize. He remembers............. Ask for forgiveness. As for your cousin the master of molestation I promise he will get his one way or the other and if he doesnt his future babies will ....and this breaks my heart

ID:D2B333

What happened to you is horrible and in no way your fault, however, we all have to accept responsibility for our own actions and you need to make amends for yours in order to stop the cycle.

ID:CDCFD9

your a piece of ****

ID:2B7A34

The experience with your older cousin must of been a fun and joyful time, for you to want your little brother to experience it also. You really must of loved what your cousin did to you for you to do it to someone else. What a great big brother. The gates of HELL will be waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure you have asked GOD to forgive you. But the only way you will be forgiven, is if you asked your little brother to forgive you. Just remember, "little brothers don't forget."

ID:D2B333

Oh and another thing...you doing it in return to your brother is much worse than what your perverted cousin did to you. Your cousin was not expected to love you. His blood does not really run through yours however your brother is sacred. He is your flesh, your you. Your mothers CHILD. Do you love your mom? Your mom loves you unconditionally, and I m sure your little sidekick, bro, does too immensely; After all, he still talks to you and does not throw it in your face. He remembers. I am really sorry for you, but do something.
Let us know the outcome. I will pray for you

ID:D2B333

you are & your cousin are sick *** fucks - you both need to be sent to the worst prison & gang raped over & over again and then pitched off the highstet tier ..... go to hell

ID:56B149

WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!? I totally felt sorry for you when you were talking about this happening to you, but then when you started talking about how you do it to your brother I wanted to cut your dick off!!! I totally agree with the guy that thinks you should be put in prison and gang raped you sick freak!

ID:7184B9

you sick twisted ****!
you should be locked in a jail cell with a huge gay inmate and two broken legs!

ID:7995FD

u fuckin dumb horney muther fuckin bastard molestin fuckin children .. go to fuckin hell u fucked up fuckhead with no ******* brain..your so lucky i dont know where the **** you at or imma get my boiis to ******* kill you and get your dick chopped off you sick lil fucker... and when they chop your dick off they will chop it in 2 and shove one in your fuckin mouth and another in your fuckin *** you stupid *****... **** YOU!!!!!!!..

ID:18E467

I was molested when I was 7 years old by someone i considered an older friend. I remember every gruesome detail like it was yesterday, and still have nightmares. Just look at it as if your little brother did it to someone else in the family and how you'd feel knowing what everybody else feels about it now. Personally, from my point of view of what happened to me, if someone tried that with one of my little sisters, i'd be in prison for 1st degree murder. I would definitely get counseling though for you and your brother, and like everyone else has said, apologize to him, he'll understand.

ID:3B6943

This is comment from the contributor of the original story. When it happened to me, I was very young and didn't realize that there was anything wrong with it, except for the fact that I about choked to death on his sperm. I thought since it made him happy, it must be good. It also was not a one time thing. As for turning around and doing the same thing to my brother, I can't justify the actions, can't even begin to try and explain what was going on in my head at the time. I am now pushing fifty and my brother is just a few years behind me. We are both married and I did confess to my wife about the whole thing, though I refuse to tell her who the perpetrator was.I once kinda tried to indirectly touch on the subject to see if he remembered, or harbored any hard feelings but it flew right past him, or he chose to act as though it never happened. It was actually something that I had buried under years of drug abuse and alcoholism that started coming back to me after I straightened out. It was a cathartic experience to get it off of my chest, even if if was anonymously and to a bunch of strangers, many of whom appear to be illiterate, hate filled idiots. My folks are in their early eighties and I have no intention of putting them in their grave by bringinig something like this up. I'll be seeing that cousin this Thanksgiving and I guess that deep down, I have forgiven him, because I just don't think it's worth destroying more lives and families because of what happened around forty years ago. And as to those who are so quick to condemn, all I can say is, if you were never in the situation, sit down and shut the **** up! As for the homey who thinks he and his boiis is bad-asses, I've been a bar-room brawlin', street fighting drunken biker for over twenty years. I got enough firepower to take on a small country. You think you're bad asses? Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Sound like illiterate, punk-assed grade school drop outs. How did you ever figure out how to type a message on a computer?

ID:8F5BFA

what you did was wrong but you have realized your mistakes. which is good. at the same time you should tell your cousin how you feel. i wouldnt forgive him. he was olderr & knew better, so i would confront him on the situation. it dosent help you to just sit back and watch the sick bastard get away with what he did. thats all i have to say . just reading this makes me sick.

ID:A57E74

Look it does not matter when it happened....It happened. This is the third time I have had to reply. Bad *** or not..old or not...forgiven or forgotten, if I were you ask your brother for forgiveness. You make think he has forgotten believe he has not. Deep down inside your soul needshave closure. You still have more than 30 years in you...rest your soul man. About telling you parents....DONT!!! It is between you two. Look that cousin of yours..I m sure he was not born that way..we was made. I am still very angry with him because you robbed your precious innocence. I have this immense hurt, and sadness for you both..and yes I am angry, but I have forgiven you. I am sorry for all of us having to be so ghetto with you..but what do you expect. If the shoe was on the other foot, and had it not happen to you, you would of probably said the same things. Look man you have made your bed, lie in it. I will still pray for you until I forget. Your cousin needs to ask for forgiveness.

ID:D2B333

YOu had also mentioned something about what my husband had written...how do you not expect for him to say the gates to hell are open for you...they are. You forgave yes, but did your younger brother forgive you. Have you asked him? He will understand. I m very tight with my siblings...my loyalty, love, I will walk through fire for them. We have been through some crazy **** in the past, to the point were I have had one overdose, one try to kill him/herself....God does not give you anymore you can't handle. The more you go through, the stronger you become. Talk to your brother!!!
Another thing, thank you for replying again..I would always log on just to see if you did anything. However, your first story made it seem like you had no remorse about it. You seemed cool, numb,and almost like bragging. I am sure that is why you had tons of or rude comments. They were very angry, and full of hate for you.

ID:D2B333

Obviously there is something about this that is still nagging at you b/c you still remember it all these years later. I can guarantee you that if you still remember what your cousin did to you your brother still remembers what you did to him. I do not make any excuses for any type of molestation but I do believe that you know what you did was wrong. Many molested children turn around and end up being the violator instead of the violated later on...I wouldn't be surprised to hear that your brother may have done this to someone else, too. I say wait until your parents are gone and THEN address the situation w/ your brother. Make your amends and ask for his forgiveness...it will give you closure on the situation.

ID:576553

i am a 16 year old female and i have been where you are right now. except i know that they both still remember everything because i still remember everything and i was three years old when this happened to me..and 13 years later i still have nightmares about it..the least you could do is confront your brother and tell him everything that happened to u and apologize to him for doing that to him..as for your cousin you may forgive him but you will never for as long as u live forget what he has done to u...even when u were drinking and doing drugs i can almost garuntee you that u remembered.. u just didnt think about it as much

ID:7862DD

Addressing some of the replies; I was not intending for the original comments to be taken as some kind of bragging or in any way being a sexual turn on. It has been a cancer that has eaten away at my very soul for quite a while. As for the Bible thumping condemnations, you better read whatever book you are inspired by, if it is even the Bible, as I have been looking to the Almighty YHVH to guide me as I seek to truly repent and try and follow the guidelines that the one true Messiah showed to be the way to salvation. Yes, even twisted sicko freaks, prostitutes and even murderers can attain salvation. If you believe otherwise, then you believe contrary to what the inspired word of the Almighty says. I care not one iota what any idiot on the internet says about errant judgements in behavior that I made in the past. The fact is that I am now truly attempting to free my soul of the demons that have possessed me for so long. Remove the beam from your own eye before trying to pluck out the twig from mine. Cast the first stone if you think your spirit and you are guaranteed a mansion in the Kingdom of Almighty YHVH. I don't believe I'm there yet, but I Believe in the promise of the Messiah and am working diligently to get my life straightened out. I cut my hair, shaved my beard, quit the booze and drugs and am working hard to be a less tormented, violent person. If that ain't good enough for y'all Kiss My ***! (Like I said, still workin' on it.)

ID:E1EC60

You're a sick bastard.

ID:A35684

This will be my last comment and last time I check replies as I have come to realize that confessing anonymously to a bunch of strangers is not really confessing. Reading a bunch of venemous replies is really a vital part of the healing process. For the illiterate folks, that's sarcasm, if you know what sarcasm is. To all those who say I AM a sick bastard and think I should die and go to hell, I say to you, you are missing the point. I didn't continue doing these things for years, not even months. It is something that happened many years ago that I have suppressed and just recently begun to deal with. As I said, I don't get turned on by thinking about it, quite the opposite. Yes, I WAS a sick bastard. But people go through phases in life, continually changing, hopefully growing. I went through phases, a particularly long, self destructive one. Consuming mass quantities of drugs, drinking to the point of blacking out, multiple DUI's, viscious fights, being put in the hospital and putting people in the hospital. I got involved with real bikers, not the yuppie banker-on-a-bike types. Saw and participated in a lot of things that I just don't care to go into for y'all. But I've experienced a major change in life. I'm making a sincere effort to get right with YHVH. Whether any of you thinks that is impossible makes no difference to me. I know what the promise of Salvation through repentance means. As for those who say they are sure that everyone involved still remembers, that may actually not be true. I have been studying male rape, the estimated unreported numbers of victims due to the stigma associated with it. In the reports that I have studied, they said that as many as eight out of ten victims of sexual assault (male or female) do not ever have any recall unless the memory is brought out by some later traumatic event. The younger the victim, the less likely they are to remember. This is something that truly predatory types are aware of, and take full advantage of. When I was young, there was no such talk of "good touch, bad touch". Molestation, especially between family members was never spoken of, even if suspected-couldn't tarnish the family name. Sex education didn't even start until junior high. I can't even begin to guess how many kids I grew up with had some type of event like that in their youth. I believe it is a good thing that kids are taught about the various dangers early in life these days. All I know is that we sure weren't taught about them when I was growing up.
Comment on to your hearts content. I won't be back to read any more.

ID:63CA1E

that's hot... if anyone of these three guys really cared at the time, they would've done something.

ID:801BB0

Um, I don't see any change in you just based on the sheer vulgarity of your story. Sounds like something out of a porno and not a story of molestation. And yes, your brother does remember, and probably spends his time trying not to remember.

ID:0996F3

that is wrong he shouldn't have done that. but you shouldn't have done it to your brother. that is a sick and twisted thing to do. and he will remember it depending on old he was.

ID:648187

OK, here is what happened... you connected the good feelings with a taboo and were abused bi your cousin, so you inadvertently or subconsciously passed on the abuse to your little brother. ABUSE IS A CYCLE. You and your brother BOTH need serious professional counseling, so that you do not pass on that cycle of abuse with your own offspring which would be a complete disaster. Yes, this is troubling, but quite honestly, your innocence was STOLEN bi your cousin, thusly passing it on to others, mainly your brother.

Whatever you do... DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF... you have taken a huge step in stopping this cycle of abuse simply bi posting it here. Concealed sins are deadly... YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HELL, either, no matter if your brother forgives you or not... if you truly asked God forgiveness, then it's irrelevant what others have said above. No one can tell someone they are going to hell or heaven for that matter... only God can. He has already forgiven you for this... all you have to do is open your heart and ACCEPT his unending love, acceptance and forgiveness. STOP THE CYCLE... forgive yourself and your cousin, get help and move on... take it from me as one abused at a young age, you will make a huge positive difference for yourself and others if you do so. Good luck and God bless.

ID:651617

ure ******* gross u sicko go to HELL!

ID:3F5E42

That's really fuckin sick you need to get some help for you and your brother you might think he dose not remember but he really dose.You might not think you need help now bcause it was years ago but you do you really do that's some sick ****.Good luck

ID:C7A599

What if your brother liked it and wants it again?

ID:EEBA72

I'm not here to judge you or you're cousin. I honestly think you guys should get help, not just for your brothers sake, but for you and your cousin. Oneday, I'm sure ya'll will have children and it would be not only terrible, but immoral for this kind of "tradition" to be passed on. I hope you take this advice and make the best choice you are able to make. May God have pity on those who truly seek forgiveness!

ID:5E5F44

I was in the same situation as your little bro. He might have liked it...I KNOW I DID!!!!

ID:9674D1