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Carson
Just another request for help...
self reflection of cheating
Confessions
What's wrong with me?

i want to die so much
im only 19 and i REALLY do want life to end. but ive always despised the selfishness of suicide because of the grief it causes others. i dont think i will kill myself because ive felt this way for a while

ive had unexplained severe depression problems since i was in primary school.
i was in insanely in love with a girl for 3 years (and cried regularly for) before we had a very intense 9 month relationship. that ended 3 years ago and ive had no one since.
i dont love her anymore as weve hardly spoken since then, but i STILL think about her EVERY SINGLE day as it was the only love ive had.

i frequently cry alone in my room for hours. when i have the house to myself and my parents are out i smash things up and scream.
i never told anybody about it and this is the first time ive let it out of my head.

life isnt worth living, it really isnt.

Comments
Anonymous Coward says ...
I am an Anonymous Coward and I want to say ...

I am there in those shoes as well. Every day I cry and get tired of the pain. I know how hard it is to make it through every day. I am not one for suicide. Just know that there are people out there that care about you even if you have not met them yet.

ID:4D332D
Anonymous Coward says ...
I am an Anonymous Coward and I want to say ...

I'm 49 years old. As a younger man, (19) I went through stuff with a broken heart and depression. After 3 nervous breakdowns in as many years, I quit listening to everyones good advise.

Sorry to give such a simple solution, but when I finally decided to start dwelling on good things, my life started to change. The downward spiral stopped.

Find something positive in your life. do something healthy. Force yourself to chase after "the good stuff", it's different for each individual. Music, religion, education, sports, everyone has a place in this world. Pick several things and try them out. If you go after a better life, you will start finding constructive change. You will feel better and things will start to snowball in your favor.

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Life is hard. I think about killing myself every day but I don't because of my friends and my Mom. I don't want to hurt them by being selfish and ending my life. I can't tell you life gets better but it does get different and you will enjoy some magical moments ahead of you as well as hard ones. That's just what life is.

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Hang in there. Tommorrow is another day and who knows what it has in store. Failures are stepping stones to success.

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Hey buddy. i can sympathize. it's so hard to try to deal with depression when you can't pinpoint why you are depressed! in this situation when there really isnt an exact thing to "fix," try forcing yourself to go out and participate in some kind of charity. it's hard to make that first step of getting yourself out of bed, i know. but i swear you will be glad you did. people who are in desperate need will appreciate you and give you a sense of purpose and self worth.

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My heart breaks for you!! you are so young and fragile. Listen life is never easy thats just the way it is. But there is so much your not looking at. God gave you the breath of life for a purpose! Find that purpose,find what you truly love and pursue it! Relationships come and go,and they always hurt if they don't work out. But don't let this tear you down,because this is just a stepping stone in the journey God has for your life. You need to ask God to help you get thru this, so you don't feel alone.Especially in those times when you feel like dying. God is a very big God and everything your going through let him carry! He can change you life ask him!!! and listen he's there.

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man your situation is so awful. But it can be treated! Like a bad cough. It takes practice though. Like all great athletes and singers you need to put in the effort and time. They all didn't get where they are without practice. So my advice would be to replace all those negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. Anything positive! Like how nice the weather is, or how someone smiled at you that day, or you love how good you supper tasted. Those ugly thoughts will try there very best to defeat you.... but just keep talking to your self about how nice it is...etc. You will get better at it! It just takes practice practice practice!

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god put u here for a reaon every one has a perpose if u ever need some one to talk to u can call me (510)417-1227 im not crazy in a female and i no theres some body for every body dont u worry im gone pray for u if u have a myspace finde me my name is felicia shelton have a great day

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